...."Talking bout my generation" ....
I have a mom and I am a mom. Some would say that I fall into the demographic of being one of the "sandwich generation" women. Well if that's the case then that's ok with me. I can't think of a yummier place I'd like to be then between two layers of the people who love me most. How warm and comforting is that?
So as member of the sandwich generation I have had the pleasure of watching my mom grow older and my daughter, now 25, become a woman herself.
Here's what I know for sure.
My mom is no different than many women her age. They worked hard, they didn't ask for much, they didn't get much. My mom had to work to help pay for three mortgages, four kids and all the medical expenses that kids create. OHIP was just four letters in the alphabet when we were kids. If you went to the doctor's office it was because you were really sick and there was a bill waiting for you when you were done. Talk about adding insult to injury.
My mom taught me to work hard, to save money, to not be frivolous and to be wise with my purchases. There wasn't much time for fun raising four kids, many pets, a husband and a full time job in addition to the myriad of school courses mom was always taking.
When my mom turned 73 last December 26 I struggled with what to give her for a birthday gift. I really sat with what I knew about her, what I knew about me and what I knew about being a mom. Luckily my daughter was in town for the holidays so I finally came up with an idea so brilliant, and yet a bit of a scary thought, that all the girls in the family could join in on. My two sisters and I invited our mom and our daughters to a sleep over, a pj party, girls only. I wasn't sure how mom would feel about this but we planned it anyway.
One sister provided the house, another provided the wine and snacks and I arranged for a masseuse to come in, picked up the movies and then organized for all of us to pick out dinner and have it delivered. This was to be a "nobody gets to work" event.
We started laughing around 7 pm and continued to laugh for several hours: we arm wrestled, we had a pillow fight, we watched chik flix....What a riot...7 girls, all from the same family, different generations, just kicking back.
I loved watching my mom throughout this entire evening. She laughed, she smiled and she even got a little soppy which is not something she does often.
We all got cards afterward: I still have mine, it's in my daily agenda as a reminder of that day. My mom said to me that if she had the choice between winning a million dollars and having time with her girls she'd take the time with her girls in a heartbeat. Isn't that cool?
You know, as a lifestyle leadership coach, I often hear people articulate that they are unsure of what they want in their lives, of who they want to be and how they want to show up. I was thinking of that today and I have to share something with you.
Our moms never had that choice. They had to work, they had to have babies and they had to follow the rules of the day. We have a new set of rulels and it's mostly because our moms decided that there had to be a better way to do things, to make women equal...
So, here we are ladies. We have choice, we have options, we have opportunities in front of us that no generation has ever had before.
What's it gonna be for you? Take a stand, believe in something but start with yourSELF and then go big...play lots, laugh more and, if you still can, thank your mom for the opportunity.
Living la vida fearless, Jan
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