The cooler weather here in Ontario always makes me think of baking. There are lots of fresh apples just ready to be plucked from the trees, the fruits are harvested and it just feels good to be inside a house full of baking aromas. I said think of baking 'cause I am not really a baker. I am more of a "throw it all together, add a pinch of this and a pinch of that" kind of person. I like to experiment and see what happens. Not so much a cookie cutter kind of person in the kitchen I'm afraid. My daughter is the same kind of person in the kitchen. When she was little we encouraged her to "make concotions." Sometimes we ate them, most times we didn't. Blue soup, green pasty stuff, pasty things that didn't resemble anything at all....Those were the not so good mixtures. But,and it's a big but, there were some fantastic successes too. She can make a flat bread that rivals any baker, she can pull together a meal out of things in the fridge, or local meadow, that match any organic cuisine at a spa. No worries about her ever starving. That got me thinking about cookie cutters and the connotation of cookie cutters as ordinary, or sameness, or not special.
Cookie cutters, ordinary, has it's place sometimes. I love the shapes of gingerbread cut out at Christmas. The angels, and little gingerbread people, little bits of icing to colour their hair and clothes.....If they're hand done then you are guaranteed there will be some differences.
The thing is, cookie cutter doesn't work all the time. Living a life of ordinary brings ordinary results. I want to experience different, grandness, majestic...things that put me on the edge of fear and force me to cross over to the other side. Triumphant in my bliss, in my knowledge that cookie cutters have their place....but not in my place! What about you? What is your fearless dream? What will put you at the edge and then move you beyond it to live a fearless life? I can guarantee you, the moment you pick the perspective of overcoming fear, you will never be the same. Honour yourSELF....trust your intuition...No more cookie cutter living...Living la vida fearless, Jan

Two buzz words lately....supersize and downsize. People can supersize their meals which then supersizes their bodies according to the great movie Supersize Me! If you haven't seen it you should. People can be downsized from a job or you can be downsizing your life. Making it less stressful. Kind of ironic isn't it? If you get downsized that's stressful but, if you are choosing to downsize your life ie. move to a smaller place, that's not stressful, apparently.
Me, I'm in the throws of downsizing after having been downsized from my own company, misdiagnosed and thrown into transition after the misdiagnosis. My children, now young adults, are in their own form of downsizing. They are leaving the nest, sort of, to travel again. They come and they go. Currently they are here in the house they grew up in, in the sleepy suburb they became comfortable with. Facing their fears, bags in tow, they are ready to face a new world. When they return again, it will be to a new home. My husband and I are moving to a small, historic home closer to town. We will be able to walk to the local coffee shop, we will be able to walk to work, we will be able to use only one car! So, we're downsizing our vehicles too. As I wander around my house I have to decide what stays and what goes. It's cathartic and exhausting and challenging...but it will get done. Photos stay, more than one set of anything goes. Brutal but it works. I don't need three sets of dishes...I have them but I don't need them, so, off they go. There is a local shelter near me that outfits street kids trying to live in their own places. They are always in need of things so that's where I donate my "don't need anymore" things. There are days when I feel like my house just decided to supersize itself with stuff, which is not healthy for me now, let me tell you!
It's an interesting perspective to know that you are moving. Every holiday, like the recent Thanksgiving, I walk around and think, hmmmm..this will be the last one in this house. But then, it could, realistically, be the last one ever. Who ever knows when their last day will be? So, Halloween, Christmas, New Year, birthdays...just a few more months and then the memories will begin at the new, downsized, location. So, supersize my memories while I downsize my house and work on trying to change the course of my downsized job situation! Living la vida fearless, Jan

I went out for a walk today with my old dog. She is 17 and she is not well. Every walk with her now is a reminder that this may be the last one we have together. As we were slowly moving along our street toward the park we saw another little dog just ahead. I should mention at this point that my two cats also walk with us. We make quite a little parade, the four of us, wandering through our neighbourhood. It always causes a backward glance or two from passersby when they see the dog, the cats, and me all together. Today the backward glance was from the little dog ahead of us. It was a cute little thing...fluffy and bouncy. My dog is old and black and her fur is straight so she looked nothing like this little bundle of fur. The little guy who was walking the dog was trying desperately to get the dog to walk with him but the pup had other ideas in mind and kept turning around to look behind him. It got me thinking about looking back and looking forward as opposed to just being. For a few minutes I watched the pup struggle to look back and the little guy struggle to move forward. Both had a destination in mind. Both thought they were right. Both tried to convince the other that they were right. As I watched I really became aware of what it means to be present...to not look back, to not look forward but to just be. I looked around at the trees, their leaves soon to start their own journey back to earth falling toward the green grass, the fall flowers shining in all their brilliance, my dog just sitting with me waiting until it was time to move on, the wind rustling up all the leaves on the ground sending them swirling up to the sky and then back down again. I realized that I had spent a lot of the walk thinking about what I had to do today, what needed to be finished. I had not been present of where I was and what was happening around me. As soon as I realized that the perspective changed for me. My old dog and I walked a little further, a little slower and with more purpose. I wanted to enjoy this time with her and to remember our last walks together....and so we did.
Looking forward and looking back don't change things. Looking back is living a life of regret, looking forward, while it is a good idea to have a plan, can be full of disappointments as well. Live in the moment...be present...Live a fearless life!
Living la vida fearless,
Jan
www.tobeyourbest.net

As a coach I am often asked what I do. Here's how I answer them.
"This is about what you want to do. Is there anything in your life that you have wanted to do but you're too scared to try it?"
I have yet to meet a person who says no...so when they say yes we talk about that..."Why aren't you? What's stopping you? How said you couldn't?" If you died tomorrow what would you regret? Don't live a life of regrets....of fearing those great friends "but" and "should." Coaching does that...it lets you live a fearless life. That doesn't mean you won't face fear on the contrary, there will be many fears you will have to confront. It also doesn't mean that, from here on in, your life will be one free of fear. Sometimes fear is necessary. It's a necessary reaction to some situations..there is a place for it. But, it should not hold you back from living your full life....from being your best SELF.

The Toronto Star did a series of articles this summer on the benefits, or not, of coaching. They followed several people for eight weeks and published the discussions on a weekly basis. Today they published a follow up article to see whether or not the participants found value in their coaching and if they had stayed on course.
This is an excerpt from that article.

Get A Lifers now have one

Seven contestants still give it their all and find it takes hard work and humour to turn their lives around in six months
JUDY STEED from the Toronto Star October 13, 2005.
Excerpts from the article...

It's been a tumultuous summer for the Star's Get A Life challengers - Seven people selected from hundreds of applicants for a two-month experiment in "life coaching."
Designed to kick-start major changes in their lives, guided by weekly sessions with life coaches, paid for by the Star, the challenge started on February 11 and wrapped up eight weeks later. It focused on how we get stuck and unstuck in common human problems.
We promised to return six months later, to see how our brave Lifers carried on, armed with their new-found skills.

Remember our cast of characters?

Our challengers were motivated. They'd convinced us that, more than anything, they wanted to make the changes they'd defined.
We wanted to see if eight weeks of life coaching could spark a shift they ardently desired. How did they do?

Ellen feels that Susannah's "magical organization skills" have helped her shed "a heavy judgment" about the clutter. So confident is Ellen, in fact, that she's looking for love and quoting Goethe: "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back ... Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

On Saturday, Sept. 24, as Hurricane Rita pounded Texas and Louisiana, Mike's mother and her husband picked up Mike and his cat Limoges and set off to drive to Florida. Mike was elated.
The life coaching process helped him "get out of the rut," he says. "With Garry (Schleifer), I learned how to take steps to make a decision. This is my decision."

By October, was Cynthia maintaining her healthy fitness habits? Staying relaxed? "Arrgh. September is crazy at school. I haven't made it on to the elliptical consistently, but I've lost seven pounds and I've made a vow not to eat the principal's jujubes
"Day-to-day, I find myself doing things with ease without realizing until later, things I couldn't have done before. I'll say no or stick up for my opinion. I don't beat around the bush, I make decisions at
work ..."

Sandra stayed in touch with her life coach, Patricia Muir, by email once a week, and talked to her once a month, for free. "It helped keep me on track. It's easy to backslide.
One thing Amanda learned: As much as she wanted to be chosen for the Get A Life challenge, she felt terribly exposed seeing herself in the newspaper. "I feel like that person is not me anymore, I've come so far."

Living a fearful life?

The antidote? "If you're serious about self-improvement you need regular `vaccinations' or check-ins, whether it's AA or Weight Watchers or talking to a life coach."
We'll give the last word to Mike, who sent this email just before his departure for Florida:
"The `Get a Life' experience has been so fulfilling and rewarding thanks to the support and encouragement I've been given, the research skills I've developed, the alternative ways of thinking I've been shown, the input from Garry (the positive stuff, that is!).

What are some of your goals?
Anybody else work with a coach?
How do you stay motivated?

Living la vida fearless,
Jan

The weather in this region is still wet and soggy. So, I am going through my books and other reading material to catch up. One of my newest favourites is Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell. The concept is that it's ok to fail as long as you learn a lesson from it. Cheryl Richardson is always a favourite as well. I have just finished the Alchemist, a simple read, but good lessons and, of course, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, is also an easy, Jonathon Livingston Seagull sort of read. The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. One book that I am in is called the Courage to Succeed which can be found online at Company of Women.The book includes stories from 33 successful business women who have overcome great odds to continue moving forward. I am also included in the last issue of the great work,life,passion magazine Worthwhile. The one with Stedman Graham on the cover. What are some of your favourites? What is on your must read list and what is on your have to read list and what is on your I think I might list? Time to settle into reading now that our summer is waning. So, here's another thought on the topic of settling in...Does anybody play board games anymore? One of my favourites used to be Balderdash..big surprise for a writer like me...Scrabble and Monopoly too. Classic favourites. I was always the one to have the luck of landing on Park Place...after someone else owned it and had 20 houses on it! I'm a small real estate investor now so I must have learned something from the ordeal...Another old favourite was cards. In this day of technological toys and gadgets does anybody do such things anymore? Euchre and crib were my games. My kids were amazing at Concentration. Beat me hands down every single time...I know poker has taken on a new status but I wonder how long that "reality tv" concept will work with a card game...Your thoughts folks? Living la vida fearless, Jan