Elephant Training 101:
If there's an elephant in your life that is just taking up space now's the time to learn some elephant training techniques.
My name is Janet Auty-Carlisle and my company is Living la Vida Fearless Coaching Services. I work with people whose lives have been touched by abuse. It's big, it's scary (kind of like an elephant) and yes, I am qualified. I do not offer therapy: that's important work done by professionals: I am that next step, that person who offers tips on training the elephant. To read more about my elephant training go to www.tobeyourbest.net, that's my home page. So, the promo. I have committed to entering certification within two months. I want to continue to fill my practise and am seeking 6 people who want to train their elephants. My fee is $200 per month. If you, or someone you know, wants to learn some elephant training techniques then contact me at fearlesslivingrogers.com.
For those of you who ask, and I hear it often and that's great, I can do this work because I have lived this work. I currently coach some staff at a local shelter and I have coached people in the past with abuse issues with much success.
First tip for training an elephant? Don't let him/her stay in your space....
Living la vida fearless, Jan

I went out last week with my two sisters, my mom and a woman who is like our sister to all of us. We were taking the time to spend Mother's Day together and enjoy the company. All of us have other families and other obligations and it just gets really hard to organize a special event day where all of us can be there....So, this was perfect.One of my sisters teaches music at an elementary school. We were talking about what kids can do for Mother's Day(and other days too) to be kind. The word "chores" was tossed around when suggesting ways people could help one another and then my teacher sister said, very quietly, "I prefer to call them quiet kindnesses that fill your heart." Hmmmmm...quiet kindnesses that fill your heart: how empowering, how easy to do, how cool was that? I immediately took to the idea and began thinking of all kinds of ways a person could perform a quiet kindness to fill their heart..It's so easy and so simple and such a good idea. Takes all the pressure off of performing for somebody and just begin "being" .....I have a pretty smart sister, actually I have two pretty smart sisters, but only one mentioned the quiet kindnesses.....Gotta run I'm off to see how I can help, in my own quiet way. What about you? Thoughts? Living la vida fearless, Jan

Pausing for Menopause

It's been pretty frantic around these parts recently...frantic taking on a good perspective this time. We have had family dropping into town, leaving town, staying in town and going out of town. Along with family comes the rest of the crew....friends and loved ones (puppies included) who are part of the "entourage" if you will. A party here, a music session there, dinner in town, breakfast out of town..Frantic in a good way.
But now the dust has settled. In fact it's so settled in my little house that sometimes I can't find the counter underneath all the dust! Time to take a deep breath, open the windows, let the fresh air fill our lungs and pause for a while.
Down to the lake I go, as always, to pause and ponder. While there it occurs to me that, as I begin this next phase of my life, I am going to spend more time pausing: pausing for Menopause if you will. I am allowing mySELF more time for the things I have wanted to do but got too busy to take the time to do.
Today I picked up my guitar: another thing covered in dust I' m sad to say. I sat and played for a little while and it just felt so good to be playing again. I'm a little rusty, ok, a lot rusty, but it just felt good to pause in my day to do something creative. Something from my heart to my heart and for my heart.
I took a yoga class for the first time today as well. That's just really hard work: it looks easy but it's a really tough workout. I loved it. At the end we paused for a few minutes of reflection and deep breathing. We did some laughter yoga for part of the class....now that was fun and funny.....I felt great when I walked out of that class.
So, I'm pausing and menopause is the reason. If not now then when?
We could all benefit from a short pause in our days and in our lives....Me, I waited until now and it's better late than never. What about you? Are you taking the time to pause in your day? To reflect for a few minutes? To do what you love each and every day? Thanks for listening. To your success from my heart to yours.
Living la vida fearless,
Jan

Living la Vida Fearless
Weekly Edition
March 20, 2007

Fresh Tracks

We're over the worst of the winter here in southern Ontario. And there were many days when it felt like the worst indeed. Torrents of wind blowing snow around so fast and furious that it was impossible to see five feet ahead of you. Sleet, rain, ice and hail: all within two hours of each other. Hours and hours of driving time to commute home in a drive that usually takes 30 minutes. Thank goodness that's mostly behind us now. The coming of March always signals change and the rebirth of spring.

However, as is often the case, winter does not go easily or lightly from these parts. This past week was proof again of the stubborness of old man winter. The grass had started to appear with milder weather warming our winter sodden bodies. The sun is warmer...the days are longer. And old man winter gets the last laugh on us as we begin to breathe the fresh spring air.

Two days ago it snowed again. Not a lot but enough of a reminder that it's not spring officially: at least not yet. I like these kinds of snow storms because I know the worst is behind us. So, it gave me comfort to see the fresh snow on the ground. It was actually quite pretty: a fresh blanket of clean, white, pristine snow. No tracks, no marks from anybody or any thing yet. As I watched the snow fall, gently, for the last time probably this winter, I began to think about fresh tracks in the snow...and otherwise.

Fresh tracks. Nobody before you...nobody to lead the way...nobody to mar the landscape. From winter to spring...fresh tracks. I love the idea of fresh tracks in the sense of adventure it created for me. What could be ahead of me I wondered as I put one foot in front of the other? What new adventure lay in wait for me? But I also felt some apprehension as I stepped forward into uncharted territory...was there something scary out there that I didn't know about? What if I failed at my attempts at this new adventure? What if somebody tried to stop me from moving forward?

Ultimately I continued along the way creating my own set of fresh tracks. People have called me a trailblazer...that's what this felt like. Creating a trail for others to step into...to feel safe...to feel that they could trust and move forward. Such is the element of the coaching I do. It's all about fresh tracks, new perspectives, trust, integrity and moving forward despite all the hardships that may befall us as we journey on. I find this work challenging, rewarding and life changing and I am honoured that I have the ability to enable so many people to "feel safe in their own new tracks."

What about you? Do you feel safe as you move forward? Do you face challenges in a way that helps you to grow? Got a story to share? Let me know and perhaps I'll post it for you.....

Living la vida fearless,

Jan

www.tobeyourbest.net

Do you remember what it was like to learn how to ride a bicylce, or tricycle, for the first time? I remember my first bike...the old fashioned ones with no extra gears or speeds. It was just a bike: one speed, one set of brakes, (well two if you counted my feet) and a little too big for me so I could grow into it. No helmets back then either. The weather was warm, early spring, my favourite time of year when I was a kid. I could finally put away the snow boots, put on the shiny patent leather shoes for fancy dress or running shoes for play and then take off. My parents bought me my bike for a birthday, I think probably my 7th birthday but I'm not positive about that. It was in March and the sun was shining and there was a beautiful shiny blue bike in the driveway waiting just for me. My own bike! It even had a kickstand which was an added feature back then. I couldn't wait to try it out. I hopped on while my dad held onto the back to steady me. As soon as he let go I fell. I had two choices at that point: cry and never get back up or dust off and try again. I tried the latter. On I went, down I fell. If at first you don't succeed: on, fall, on, fall...until finally I got my balance enough to actually take it onto the street and try riding. Dad running behind me I couldn't wait to get going. My feet pedalled and pedalled until my dad got too tired to hold on any longer. But, here's the thing, I didn't know that he was no longer supporting me. I had been so immersed in the joy of this new found freedom that I completely forgot to see if my dad was still holding onto me to make sure I was safe. Well you all probably know what happened next: I turned around to see if dad was still there, he wasn't and I fell because I thought I needed him to keep me balanced.
It took a little while for me to figure out that I could ride without dad there all the time but I sure was grateful that he took the time to get me started. Once I had that bike I was going to places I had not been able to get to before. I went to the local park, I went to friend's houses, I rode to the store to pick up stuff for my folks, I rode to the local creek and played in the meadows. I loved my bike.
I consider my dad to have been my "training wheels" throughout this process of learning to ride. I sure did need them but eventually there was a time when they had to come off.
I was fortunate that my folks trusted enough to let me ride without them. That notion has carried me through a lot of things in my life. When times have been tough I've been able to look for support, to ask for help, to learn and grow and to then "remove the training wheels" if you will to go out on my own knowing I'm supported.
My "training wheels" have carried me through a lot of stuff let me tell you.
What about you? Do you ask for help? Do you stop trying when things get too hard? Do you have a support system in place to get you over the hard times? Do you have your own "training wheels" in place to get you started on something new?
Thoughts?
Living la vida fearless, Jan