I'd Rather be a goldfish...

If you could be any fish what would it be? Odd question I know but work with me here. I have asked a few
people that question and it's interesting the answers that I am hearing. Here's what I know for sure: they
are all right. It's their perspective of what they want to be and it's their choice to pick whatever they want.
So, of course they're right.
Many people tell me they want to be a shark of some type or another. Why a shark? They're fierce and
ferocious and they don't take any guff from anybody. All the other sea creatures are afraid of them. They
have no natural predators....They are fearless....they own the waters.
Some others have picked a dolphin or a seal. That's the playful person coming out. Dolphins are smart,
very smart, and friendly and trusting and loyal. And, they know how to have fun...Same with seals. They
just look like they are having a blast in the water, up and down the sides of the shore, and back into the
water again. Their energy is boundless.
Nobody picked starfish or jellyfish or seahorse but I think they're all cool too.
Somebody picked swordfish, for obvious reasons I think.
Me, I had to really think about it. I had picked out a couple and then I heard some little children talking
about some goldfish they were watching in a pond. "You know, the cool thing about goldfish is that they
will grow to accomodate their surroundings," one says to the other. Imagine that....a goldfish can be as
big or as small as it's environment. Put it in a small tank, it stays small: but: put it in a big pond and it
grows bigger.....Some people are like that aren't they? Afraid to grow big: always being kept small...
After listening to the kids I knew my answer....

I want to be a goldfish, in the ocean! Imagine the possibilities if I could just keep on growing.
Metaphorically speaking that's what I want to do. I want to always grow, I want to always learn and
gain knowledge and understanding of other people in the world. I heard the kids tell a joke too....I'm
sharing it with you now just for fun.

"Why are fish so smart?"
"I don't know, why are fish so smart?"
"Cause they travel in schools!"

What about you? What would you be? Why?
What would be your favourite fish? What would you do? What would your day look like as a fish?
Something to ponder....

Swimmingly yours,

Jan
living la vida fearless
www.tobeyourbest.net
Fearless Living Coaching Services
secondchances@sympatico.ca

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since last I posted. Time flies...whether you're having fun or not....I am busy packing up my home of 19 years. My husband and I are downsizing to a smaller, much smaller, historic home closer to the city. We are also going to be using only one car most of the time as I work from home and he can now walk to work. Cool! It's going to be a big, HUGE, change and...that's ok. At this point in time I just want to start the move. We have lots of boxes around and it's hard to find some of the things I need.....Oh well....
Living la vida fearless, Jan

There's an Elephant in my Room..

There's an elephant in my room. He's big and he's taking up a lot of extra space. I feed him peanuts and straw.
And, of course, water...he needs water....

My room was pretty small before the elephant showed up: now I can hardly move. He doesn't do much either.
Just eats and drinks. Sometimes I jump on his back and go for a ride but it's not much fun cause the room
is so small...we just go around in circles and then we're back where we started...

I can't really take him outside cause the neighbours would think I was crazy to have an elephant in my room.
Some of the neighbours have seen him but not all of them. They don't say much actually.

He's really in the way, he isn't much of a conversationalist and, to be honest, he really smells awful.
And the mess....I don't have enough gardens to compost all of his crap....I could fertilize all of Toronto
with his waste....That's a lot of B.S. or I guess it's E.S.....

Don't get me wrong, I like elephants, but not in my room.......

I guess I could ask him to leave, or force him out, or pay somebody to take him away...But, I don't know
where to start so I think I'll just have to get used to having him here. I really wish he'd just leave on his own...
But NO....he just stays on, bugging me and using up my food and taking up all this room and smelling....
I really wish he'd go away...What am I supposed to do with an elephant in my room? And why did he pick
me to come and stay with? Why do things like this always happen to me? He could have gone next door: they
like animals, they have a dog....

It's funny really, when you think about it....there's an elephant in my room and nobody says anything but
I know they all know...I wonder why they don't talk about my elephant. Well, if they're not going to say
anything than I'm not: that's for sure. Maybe they haven't really noticed and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Or maybe not....Come on it's a dam elephant for goodness sake: who wouldn't notice that? Why doesn't somebody
just come along and take him or rescue him or something? Why isn't anybody helping me out with this?
Stuff like this is just so typical for my life. Well, I guess if he's not leaving I should probably add on an extra room
or something for him to keep him warm in the winter....

There's an elephant in my room.....Did you notice?

Do you have an elephant in your room? What do you want to do but can't? What's stopping you? What's your elephant?
Do you make excuses for your elephant....well he can't really manage without me....it wouldn't be nice to just let him go....
Do you pretend he's not there? What do you mean I'm wrong? I never make mistakes. It's you who are mistaken madam.
What excuses do you make for him? Oh him, the elephant, well he can't really help himself. He always loses his temper when
he runs out of peanuts. Just ignore him.

Fearless Living Coaching Services.....we're not afraid of elephants....
Elephants belong in the jungle not in your room.....
Call today to arrange a complimentary discovery session.

Janet Auty-Carlisle
Fearless Living Coaching Services
647 298 7444
www.tobeyourbest.net

It's only peanuts to get rid of an elephant....Call now for a special gift.

Chix Out Walking....The Beginning

The weekend to end breast cancer. Sept 9 and 10 2006. Toronto. We each have to raise $2000 to participate in a walk
that will be 60 kilometres long. We will do this over two days with about 6000 other women....

We became a team toward the end of February. There would be seven of us in total. We watched the movie that the Weekend to end
Breast cancer had produced from past walks. We went to an orientation early on a Saturday morning...Now that was a challenge...
We cried when we listened to the stories of the women who had breast cancer, some were in the room, two were walking with us this year...
So, we began to get ready. We had coaches, we had a few people interested in being a team, we had kleenex and the promise
of chips on the walk...that's it we're set.....
The evening of March 14 it was announced at the Company of Women Oakville chapter that a team had been created. We are calling
ourselves Chicks Out Walking...(same initials as Company of Women) Members of the team stood up so people would know
who we were....It was an exhilerating evening and I was proud to be part of the team. We sold cute little cookies made by Lorraine Green
of Lorraine's Pantry. "Buy a pair, save a pair..." so we sold quite a few. We also sold the pink bracelets with the end cancer logo on them.
Many more ideas for fund raisers to come.
We decided, and agreed, that the next morning, Wednesday March 15, would be our first training walk together. We would meet in downtown
Oakville and walk for 90 minutes. There were three of us who could make it. We were so psyched to get going....
And then we woke up on Wednesday. It was cold, it was blowy, it almost looked like it might snow: snow in the winter that never happened
in our part of the world....well, we can't walk out in the snow and the cold and the wind.....we might get sick or something. But, the show
must go on...I would do this.....I knew we could do this together. So I called just to make sure we were still going out. Anne Peace says
over the phone..."Oh I was just talking to Anne and she doesn't think it's a good idea to go out today. I don't either. Is that ok with you?"
OK? OK? "Um, well, yeah I guess so....we can do this another time." I had to hang up the phone quickly so that Anne couldn't hear me
jumping around my room with joy.....
March 21. Notes start arriving in my email about another walk. This time there are five of us who can make it. We are going to meet at
Julia's Ristorante, where Julia Hanna spends much of her time, and start from there. And, we did...Well, first we had coffee and a chance
to meet Julia's wonderful mother. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that family. Wonderful mama....loves her daughter to pieces.
So, we start walking. All five of us. It's five degrees celsius, overcast and dry. We head toward the lake in Old Oakville and the first sight
we are greeted with is a pair of swans. A good luck omen: wishing us well on our new journey together. Swans stay true to each other
for life...I think we will too by the end of this.
We head toward the wharf and a couple of us begin to wonder how we are going to cross the river as there is no bridge. Perhaps this is
the Ironman and we just neglected to ask....Well, I'm a swimmer, I can do this....but boy it sure looks cold. And some of the group aren't
so great at swimming. I was really happy when we reached the end of the wharf and just turned back around....
So, we walked just over an hour this first morning. We talked, we covered family, work, politics and sex.....well, we started to cover sex
but it seemed like that was going to be a topic of conversation for a whole other walk....
Back to Julia's. We are invited in to rest and to dine. We are served coffee and home made Italian corn bread. The aromas are just
heavenly. The food is exquisite and the company is divine. Then more food! Eggs benedict and a beautiful fruit platter and orange juice
and champagne to celebrate our first of many walks. We laughed, we hugged, we giggled, we ate.....I can't wait to see what happens on
the next walk...
Keep you posted. And, if you see us Chix Out Walking, stop and say hi. We're a friendly bunch.

Jan

Leaving a FootPrint...



"What exactly do you do?" is a question I am often asked. I have tried answering in many different ways...
"I am a life coach." "I help people" "I help people uncover the tools they have to create a life of passion."
"I help you live a fearless life." ......and they glaze over and smile and walk away....

See, here's the thing. Asking a coach what they do is like asking a mother what she does, or a father
what he does, and then expecting some clear, concise answer that just explains it all in one easy phrase.

You're a mom, or a dad, so you make sure your children are fed, clothed, sheltered and nurtured. But..
you also try to instill values, morals and ethics: you try to create a stimulating environment that is safe,
so that they can learn and grow...You never stop loving them but you may stop liking them for a while.
You teach them to fail forward, to learn from their, and your, mistakes. You teach them compassion and......
you show them how to leave their own footprint in the word.

No two footprints are alike. Some are deep: some are soft: some are far apart: some
are close together: some dance: some run: some jump: some are on one foot, some are on two feet: some
stand alone: some are together....

Coaching is like leaving a footprint.

You learn to crawl, you learn to walk then you learn to run, to jump, to
leap and to fall. When we're first learning how to walk we do it our own way: to our own drummer, unique and gifted.
When a baby takes his or her first steps the parents are so full of encouragement and enthusisam. You fall,
you get back up, you begin to leave your little footprints all over the house
Have you ever watched a bunch of little kids playing together? Do they follow one another around, checking
to see what the others are doing? Not usually...they are so full of energy, footprints all over the place, running,
laughing, jumping, skipping, singing and rolling.
Seen a bunch of adults do that lately? You'd think they were nuts..."What's wrong with those people? Don't they
know people are watching? Don't they care how they look?" Ever heard a parent say to a toddler "No, don't walk
that way, this is how to do it? " Sounds pretty silly doesn't it: so what changed?

As we get a little older many of us begin to join a parade of other footprints. Not sure where they are going perhaps
but following never the less....It doesn't really feel right but it must be right because so many people are on this
same path...look at all the footprints. Pretty soon there are so many footrpints you don't know which are yours
anymore. You can't find them in the crowd of footprints all around you. Sometimes we cover our footprints up with
fancy shoes or shiny socks or big heavy boots.

Well, you can cover them up and you can hide your footprint forever.
Or Not...

That's the beauty of choice. Choose a different path. Choose to leave your own footprint in the sand again...
pure and strong and true...
Your footprints begin to take you on a new journey, a new path. It's scary, it's unfamiliar and yet, somehow, comforting
to know that you are on the right path...

"There were two forks in the road and I took the one less traveled and that my friend, made all the difference." Thoreau

Ever gone on a hike by yourself or to an unfamiliar place? Was it scary? Was it lonely? Maybe: uncharted territory for you.
Did you stay on your path? What happened when you reached the final destination? What treasures did you find? What
did it feel like to go it alone? What new discoveries did you make about yourself? Was yours the only footprint there?
How cool was that?

Is coaching for you? Try a discovery session. Where will your footprint take you?

Living la vida fearless,

Janet Auty-Carlisle
Fearless Living Coaching Services
www.tobeyourbest.net
647 298 7444